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It was a cycle - I relaxed, then Ipanicked. Every time I came down, I was worse off than before. How long thiswent on, I couldn't tell. I almost panicked when I feel something touch mythigh (by now my dress had slid-up so high that under my back my fingertipscould feel the hem of the skirt. Breezes from the open window told me that thetop of my dress was in even worse dishabille). I stop struggling when thefingers tapped a 1-2-3 1-2-3 tempo on my leg - Phil's signal to me when I amunable to hear, telling me that she is taking charge. I relaxed.OK - Phil was home. She kept her word. I had boundmyself on Saturday, and it was now One AM Tuesday Morning - she kept me boundfor two more days. Only now did I really begin to pay. Without removing thehelmet, she removed my harness, dress and chemise. She put the layered glovesto good use - she bound my wrists together in front of me and then suspended mefrom the rings holding the sofa against the ceiling, with my legs pulled apartand spread. Her chest quivered as a laugh tried to escape but was squelched."Why don't you come over here and talk to me." I remained seated behind my desk and pointed to an area in front of it, between the two chairs. I wanted her to remain standing for a while. It might help matters.Pauline summoned her strength and walked over, stopping exactly where I had indicated. She stood up straighter and seemed to recapture some of her dignity. I looked for physical signs of the previous two month's stress on her and found none, as usual.There were plenty of almost-physical signs. From outward appearances, it was a little hard to tell if she was putting on weight or just wearing an extra layer of clothes. Her face didn't look any worse for wear, but yet it looked puffier. She had been crying earlier in the day and the puffiness was probably a temporary residual effect.No, except for the particular effects of a traumatic day, Pauline looked, as always, like a neatly dressed housewife: someone's mom gone.
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