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" Isidor wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand and continued smearing the Windex ®. He was used to Dara barking orders. She had been doing it for 52 of their 53-year marriage. She harped at him from the time he got up in the morning until the time he went to bed. Sometimes even after he was in bed. Once in awhile, for relief, he would get up, go into the livingroom and turn on the Playboy Channel while she snored the night away in the bedroom. Isidor stopped wiping the window again and stared off into space. Thank God for Mark." he thought. The subscription to cable television was the best present Isidor has had in years. Dara, of course, went berserk. "What do we need for cable. So your father can look at those dirty movies. Those floozies with their breasts hanging out and God knows what else. It's a sin and a waste of electricity. I won't have it in the house." Mark convinced his mother that cable was a good thing and that she could indulge herself with talk. That'd make me even more of a joke.The more I think about it, the more I panic I'm going to end up puking before the pills have time to do their job. A knot forms in my stomach and I fear I'm going to throw up already. I pray I haven't overdone it.My throat's dry. I attempt a swallow and it hurts. It's a different kind of pain to the incessant dread that has unravelled the seams of my life recently, but it makes me aware of my body. My mortality. I swallow again, mind made up. It has to be now. Lord knows I can't afford a second night in the hotel to try again tomorrow. Paper rounds aren't that lucrative.With a shaking hand I pop the cap off the plastic bottle. The finality of the noise releases a sudden flash of all the things I'll be leaving behind. Classmates. A good report card. Miss Kavanagh's smile. Blinky the fish.Shit.Blinky.I scrabble for my phone and open messenger. I want to type "Please feed Blinky and look after him" to my dad but my fingers won't cooperate. Predictive.
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