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The reception hall is a harshly bright room with white walls and white floors and a white table with some cheese and crackers and grapes on toothpicks and popcorn and coffee and a punchbowl full of what tasted like Hi-C. I shook hands with folks and smiled and wanted to get out of there and get to a bar and imbibe a bit.But then Cynthia walked up to me. Cynthia, my first real girlfriend after college. We dated for about 2 years before she gave up on me, realizing I wasn’t ever going to propose. I didn’t have my shit together back then (I barely do, now), and I was pretty shitty to her after she dumped me. We’d been facebook friends for a while now, and I knew she was married and lived in Maryland or Delaware or somewhere out east.Tonight, she was here alone, and she looked good. Real good. Like, super fit and I don’t think her hair had ever looked as pretty. We made eye contact and she gave me a hug.“Congrats on the play! It was so great! I’m so proud of you,” she said.We made. I'm takingtoday off anyway and I might just go with you two, just to make sureyou don't put TOO big a dent in my credit rating." Oh Martin, REALLY." Mom said. "We'll only need to get a few things andbesides, Donnie and I DO need to talk, well, woman to woman, if youknow what I mean, dear? Now Donnie? I think, for the immediate andforeseeable future, I really should refer to you as Donna, don't youagree? I mean, heavens! Can you imagine me calling you Donnie or Donaldin the middle of a crowded mall or store? Why it would cause no END ofdistraction and embarrassment, don't you think? Good. That's settledthen. Now, do you need anything at the mall dear?" she finished,talking to Dad."Well, Honey, you never know." Said Dad. I just might pick up a fewthings for the house. We do need a new hose you know?" Oh Martin! That's funny!" Mom said, beginning to giggle. Donna and Iare going to be buying hose and so are YOU!"I just stood there, letting this madness go on. I was seething to talkto Mom.
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