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She did not believe my story but she had me wait in the little room for the old man. He came in and did the same exam on me as before. He seemed pleased as he took in the changes that had occurred. I waited as the two of them talked in Chinese. The old lady finally came and explained that during my first exam the old man had made a small mistake. He had thought I was female, so he had given me the medication to lose weight and become more typically female. She said I could see the tea had worked exceptionally. I asked if there would be any more changes and she said there would not. The tea had finished doing exactly what it was meant to do. I asked if they could make a tea to make me look like a guy again. She said my body would not be able to withstand such dramatic changes for at least three months. She added that even then, if I took the second set of medication, I would likely look as I did prior to taking the first tea.We left for home silently as I realized I was stuck looking. “What do you expect me to go as? Scrooge’s wife?”“I don’t think Scrooge was married,” I said.“I imagine his wife divorced him,” Sandra said darkly.But of course my choice couldn’t be undone without running to extra expense, so on the evening I arrived at the Taylors’ as Ebeneezer Scrooge, with my wife attired in something vaguely middle eastern that I thought made her look suitably like the Ghost of Christmases Past, though I deemed it prudent not to say so.“You can’t get hold of good myrrh for love nor money these days,” I told our hosts. “So you’ll have to make do with the usual bottle of plonk.”“David!” my wife exclaimed, looking embarrassed to be offering the bottle, as well she might. The other half of the 2 for 1 offer at the local supermarket was waiting at home. “Behave!” The Taylors exchanged glances, but I didn’t care. We’d all been here and done this before; last year, and the year before that, and the year before the year before the year before.“Bah, humbug!” I intoned.
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