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Steve and Janice started talking about the business and their other daughters and the logistics of moving everything back while Alicia and I remained quiet. I noticed some stress as they talked about the grandmother staying with the teens and about how they were both missing work. I really was getting a sense of what a big deal this was to their whole family and I felt anxious about Alicia telling her dad she wasn’t going home. She already told me she was going to wait until her mom left to have that scary conversation. The waitress brought our food and I saw Alicia tense up. She stared at her plate and whispered, ‘I asked for my dressing on the side.’ Steve got an irritated look on his face and Janice started looking around for the waitress and Alicia said, ‘No, Mom, it’s okay. I’m going to eat this food and digest it and be okay.’ I smiled hearing her mantra, but her parents didn’t seem to notice. After eating I had my hand resting on Alicia’s and she was stroking my leg with her. But none of it felt meaningful to him. It felt empty. He was still at loss inside. All these years he wanted was to be what he was today and now that he had the entire world under his feet, he was feeling empty handed. He had acquired his dreams and felt like he had achieved nothing. What was he supposed to do when he had everything in hand and still seem to have gained nothing? He was still the same slum kid who was treated trash by the same kind of people who now enjoyed the party inside his cruise’s extravagant ballroom. He had the same heart that was bruised long time back by these rich people who laughed at him and his ideas. They now were willing to lick his shoes if he would let them inside his office. His old wounds were so much that he just couldn’t loosen up to live his life a little. He was always so focused and so consumed in building his dreams that he had forgotten what was living in the moment about. He had forgotten how it was to cheer up and laugh a little. He never.
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