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Very similar indeed. He wanted to read more of her writings and browse her pictures, but decided not to invade her privacy until later that night. He resolved himself to talk to Melody and see if they could perhaps work on that shared desire that wasn't being fulfilled.Melody sighed for the tenth time that day. She loved Griffin more than anything, but something had to change. She had promised herself that she would tell him the truth before they ever moved in together, but when he sprung the question on her out of the blue, she could only think of being with the man she loved. After that she just could never find the right time to share her secret with him. It wasn't his fault that she felt unfulfilled. Guys always seemed so excited when she told them her desires, but to them it was just a bit of wild sex and that was it. She needed someone who could live those desires 24/7. She had discovered that Griffin was a bit of a switch in bed, and honestly that worried her that he wouldn't. I was on the ocean, in calm, warm waves. I was safely enveloped in this feeling and never wanted it to end.Then there was the enema. Was it sexual? It might have been, had I been in another state of mind. I thought that I had shed all my vanity, my pride and privacy when The Man watched me go to the bathroom the day before. When I realized there were others in the room this time, watching my most private moments, I lost any sense of modesty I had left. There was no choice to be made, not by me anyway. The moment had been choreographed by someone else and I was simply a player. This day (days?) have moved in slow motion, with me coming in and out of a trance-like consciousness. The Man comes to me occasionally and touches me, to remind me and bring me back from that dark place I have been inhabiting. If it were not for his touch, I think I would surely go mad. He comes to me again, and asks me who I am. He reminds me that I am only "A" now. The complicated things that make up Alexus.
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