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As I sat there on the bed with my three sad little stacks of money, I briefly thought about ways I might get rich by taking advantage of my knowledge of future events. I thought about it and forgot about it in the span of about thirty seconds. I was enjoying life just the way I was living it, and being rich was never a priority of mine anyway. As I said before, except for a hot shower in the morning, I had yet to miss anything about the twentieth century.That lack of ambition to be wealthy was a big factor in three of my wives leaving me. It never got to that point with Cora Leigh, (Mrs. Tyler McGuinn the fourth). It was never an issue with Cora Leigh, because she was a psycho. Here’s a little free advice from your old buddy Ty: never, ever, marry a woman you meet in a bar in Las Vegas on the same night that you met her. I don’t care if the Elvis Chapel is running a discount; it is still a bad idea.On the fourth day after we were married, Cora Leigh tried to run me over in the parking. “Your thingy got bigger after I ran into you”.“Drop it Sis; you’re not old enough to be talking about it, and stop calling it a thingy”.“What’s it called?”“It’s called a Penis”.“Is your Penis swollen because I hurt it?”“Yes, now please go back to your room and stop talking about it”.An hour later it was dinner time and when I went down to eat, no one was around and nothing was put out to eat. I began searching the house and heard voices coming from the basement.“John, this isn’t right. She shouldn’t be watching this because she is far too young”.“She asked and it’s up to us to teach her”. I crept quietly to the open door leading to the basement, and there on the carpeted floor of the rec room was my little sister, laying on her stomach with her face propped up on her hands and elbows. Just out of sight, there were slurping noises and moaning sounds. I quietly took a couple of steps, fearful that they may squeak and alert my parents that I was watching and listening. After the second.
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