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.. I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he’s only got one arm bless him.I shouted - “Where you off to Charlie?”He said, “I’m off to change a light bulb.”“That’s gonna be a bit awkward init?”“Not really.” he said. “I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard.”Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring.So, at least I got home OK.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport.“Nationality?” asks the immigration officer.“German,” she replies.“Occupation?”“No, just here for a few days.”As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer’s funeral, a voice from insidescreams: “I’m not dead, I’m not dead. Let me out!”The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters, “Too late, mate, the paperwork’s already done.”I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or “foreplay” as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the. Cory suggested some strippers and we could have it at his house so we made plans. The night of the party we had about 10 friends show up with alot of drinks and party favors. We had been there a while when I asked to speak with Cory and Brad in the other room "Wheres the stripper?" Cory tried to call several time but no one would answer. I asked if he had some porn to pass the time he could put on while me and Brad continued to call. After 30 minutes or so the stripper answered and informed us that she had double booked and would not be coming. I went to the Living room and broke the news to everyone and asked if they had any other ideas. Since we live in a town with no strip clubs that was out of the question. That when Brad said when I want to get my dick sucked or fuck some strange ass I go over to the Adult Theater. Instatnly all the guys were like hell yes. We went got to the Adult theater most of us had never been here before so it was like a bunch of nervous school.
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