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Our desperation to transition is so great and our finances sosmall we may resort to self medication, sometimes through the internet.Yet, the use of these drugs needs to be monitored or we run the risk ofhurting ourselves or dying.In the end some of us decide to transition, trying to make our bodiesmatch our minds, even though it is like building a house starting on thesecond floor. Others decide not to. That is O. K., too. As notedbefore many of us cannot afford the many expensive procedures that arenecessary to truly transition. We often transition with greatdifficulty. The woman trapped in a male body has to somehow hide herbeard. A female to male still has breasts to deal with.Yet at this time we begin to choose life, and most of us gain that innerpeace because we can be our true selves. It is strange that this is thetime others tell us we are going to Hell when, in reality, we have justgotten out of it. The hate they give us is sometimes greater than thecontempt that. Their eyes continued holding, almost begging the other to speak, to give a sign.Finally, Michelle managed to whisper, through her trembling lips, "I love you, daddy." At the same time, she allowed her shield of the blanket to be lowered.Al's eyes swallowed his 14-year-old daughter in her nightgown. Afraid that his voice would betray him, the best that he could do was to nod to acknowledge the youngster, and then he lowered himself down and sat on the side of the bed, alongside of Michelle.Still their eyes nervously moved. Ever so slowly, he reached his hands to the opening of her nightgown; her eyes followed. When his shaking fingers grasped the dainty material, his eyes searched desperately in hers for some sort of a sign.Michelle barely managed to nod, giving her father the okay to do what he wanted. He then pushed the nightgown back over her shoulders and arms. His daughter was naked underneath. Then he moved even closer; slowly lowering his head. For the first time in his life he.
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