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”“Shit, we’ve run out of time. I’ll talk to you in a few days so be thinking about what I said.”[a few days later on the satellite phone]“Have you thought about what I said?”“Hey, don’t be so difficult. I had dinner with an old boyfriend last night. No, I didn’t fuck him but I sure wanted to. We did get each other off like we used to though. You know, those ways you thought were so sexy when we talked about them on our honeymoon. Hey, how are you dealing with our separation?”“Are you sure there isn’t more? One of the guys on the alternative shift has been hitting on me and says there are always women out there that like being sluts. Is that how you handle your hornies? You’ve never said, just like you’ve never said how far you are from being a virgin like I was.”[a few more days later]“Those ideas aren’t much help. I’ve tried them. I guess I need to go out more often with my previous boyfriends like the one I told you about. I’ve been wondering about just fucking them until you got. We took turns buying the costumes and that year it was up to Mallory to decide what we were going to wear. She wouldn’t tell me a thing and part of the game is for me to beg and plead for just one little clue. All week long I’d promised her interesting sexual favors and anything else I could think of, but of course she never said a word. Well almost nothing. There was one clue, and when she had me so frustrated I’d fall for anything, she got very solemn and said she’d give me a hint.“Okay, Mary Kay, I’ll give you one and only one clue.”“Thank you, thank you, Mallory. What is it?” I was so excited. She was going to relent and now I’d find out what I’d wear on Halloween.“It doesn’t have an ‘X’ in it.”Of course not. Hardly any word in the English language has an ‘X’ in it and I pretended outrage as she laughed her ass off. Wait till next year.Picture this.A beautiful nun dressed head to foot in black stood before me like a sainted vision. I could just barely see her angelic face peeking.
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