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The incessant ringing from my telephone pulled me out of my slumber. I ignored it, as I typically did. It rang again after a short lull.Then my cell phone began issuing its obnoxious ringtone (“Take Me Out to the Ballgame”).I was relatively new to cellular technology. I had never possessed a cell phone until I was issued one by my employer. I rarely carried it and I rarely used it. I remember that I had to search through the bedroom for a moment to locate it.Two years later, on Mother’s Day 2003, I would get another horrible call on the device telling me that my oldest sister, the sweetest person I knew and the person I considered my moral compass, had died.I cannot recall a single time I have received good news via cell phone. Perhaps that is why I despise them so thoroughly.On this day in 2001, I remember I looked at the caller ID on my phone with surprise. I had three brothers and four sisters and, at the time, I talked to about three of them with anything remotely resembling. I had been divorced about 5 years at this point, and since my ex-wife bailed, I had to be Mom and Dad to my kids. If I could find a way to get laid, especially by a girl like Paige, I was going to take it. I was so focused on trying to find a way to make it happen that I drove 10 minutes past the pizza place and had to head back to get my order.I rolled in the door with the pizzas. We settled into the living room and watched a movie during dinner. Everyone was dressed normally, but I had to make sure I wasn’t caught staring at Paige. She was wearing a sea foam green tank top with no bra and a pair of jean shorts which covered a little below her ass cheeks. Got to admit, that was a bit of a letdown.We finished the movie and the girls begged me to watch another one. I let them pick the movie while I went and changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt so I could be more comfortable. They picked some sappy RomCom and I fell asleep due in my recliner due to boredom. What I can only assume was.
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