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" WHAT???" That, obviously, was me gaping like a fish."WE?" That was Dad, and he, on the other hand, was unnervingly sounding... happy?"Yes," Mom continued, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "You, my dear husband, are going to put your fingers inside our daughter to see if she has her hymen; if she does, then I want to see for myself."Dad was silent for a second, and I actually thought he was thinking of something to stop my mother. That was before he grinned and shook her hand. "I like it." Excuse me," I found my voice at last, and filled it with sarcasm. "But has everyone here forgotten that this happens to be MY virginity you are talking about, and that, by some quirk of fate eighteen years ago, I was born as your daughter?" Of course we haven't, my dear," Mom answered, her smile too wide for my comfort, "We know that you are our daughter..." Is that why you were talking about putting Appa between my legs?" Honey," Dad quipped, "In case you missed the anatomy. When I realized that I was supposed to make a sharp left it was too late.I’ll admit I tried ... maybe I shouldn’t have ... but survival took over even if it was too late.On first graze the frame, engine and running gear slicked off like someone was cutting butter with a hot knife. The under cart went under the van body and stopped on the boulder but the body kept going.Knock knockety knock“Mom! The Sheriff is here.”“I’m right in the middle of this seam. Whats he want?”“He wants you.”“Is it JimBob ... or a deputy?”The sheriff said, “Cora ... it’s JimBob. May I come in?”The sheriff was well acquainted with my wife. Usually it was her calling him. Sometimes it was rustlers but once in a while it was for some damn would be rapist or child molester ... or maybe it was a combination. She answered the door to strangers with her S&W Model 66 in stainless and loaded with .357 magnum shells I had reloaded with mercury infused wax capped 90 grain hollow points loaded out to 2400 feet per second.
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