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As with everyone, I had felt fear in the past. But this new fear, brought on by actual loss, actual pain… this was fear on steroids. I let it consume me for a time. I almost let it take me. My fear of death palled in comparison to the looming shadow of my fear of living. Aoife saved me that night on my knees, next to the bed Sasha and I had shared. She pressed an unseen pause button, which allowed me the opportunity to get a glimpse of my fear from a different perspective. It allowed me the opportunity to face, understand and finally make peace with my pain, instead of blindly running from it in fear. I thought I understood fear and pain. How one fed off the other. The dynamic between the two. That summer was the hardest of my life, up until that point. Little did I know that it was merely the tip of the proverbial iceberg. What follows is my true education in pain and fear. The lessons learned from them, and the opportunities lost because of them. My desire is that by continuing. To my disappointment, he was not moving beyond feeling my body. I felt tickled when he rubbed my pussy. I opened my eyes to convey to him that I am prepared for sexual intercourse. He was taken aback, thinking I am agitated.He took off his hands over pussy and said, “You are alright now. No further medication is required.” Saying this, he was about to move away. I grabbed his hand and rubbed it over my starving pussy. Later I took his mid finger slid it inside my dripping pussy.Soon he hugged me, kissed me on the face and lips, then said, “I never behave like this with my patients. Your body lured me to behave as such. I have one patient to consult. Please stay in the upper room. I will come there shortly after attending one last patient waiting.”I got up from the table and climbed the stairs reached the room. I closed the window curtain in the room and waited for him. My pussy was already wet and swollen with excitement. My hands were running over my hardened nipples and pussy.
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