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" Like what?" Vanessa wanted to know. "I'm ready – I can drop everything right now and go!" That's what I mean, honey," Tanya replied, looking at the girl. "You're ready to drop everything – leave everything behind..." Yeah, so?" Vanessa asked, sounding defensive now. "I haven't got anything to lose, have I? It's not like I'm leaving anything behind! Everything's all ahead of me, now!" That's exactly the point," Tanya said. "Training to become a Phoenix doesn't involve leaving anyone behind. In fact, you should look forward to reconciling with anyone who can upset you enough to affect your training." What do you mean?" Vanessa asked. "There isn't anyone I need to reconcile ... Oh." Vanessa frowned as she thought for a moment. "There isn't anyone I want to reconcile with. That person can't affect me anymore." You can't close yourself off and expect to succeed in your training," Tanya told her, speaking softly and endearingly as she could. "Your heart needs to be open – free of pain and. I've felt kind of ignored ever since I got home. A couple of times I even thought you were mad at me." No, you didn't quite push me to mad. I was frustrated. Both with you and myself. And I was distracted. But I wasn't mad."I don't understand. What did I do?" I'm not sure I understand myself. I guess I'm kind of a loner at work. When I was cleaning the gym, I didn't have people around. Usually I was all by myself. I got in there, figured out the fastest, most efficient way to do the best job I could and I did it. I left at the end of the day proud of what I did. If anyone wanted to see what I did in the gym, they were welcome to check it out after I was gone. And if they needed something to compare it to, they could look at it before I started or the following afternoon when it was messed up again."My swimming is the same way. Yeah, I've helped the other guys on the team, gave them tips and stuff. But when I stayed late, I worked on my own swimming, always trying to find a way to get.
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