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“Yes Sir, we engaged the Afghans twice in the last six days.”The Prince now frowned. “Twice?” he repeated.Then David began to explain how they had fought fifty-four Afghans in one engagement; all were killed except one who escaped, and they had captured fifty-one horses.He pointed to one of the packs, “Those are the valuables we found on them.”He then recounted the fights that had occurred yesterday in detail, saying they had killed sixty-one and captured fifty-eight horses in total. “That’s their valuables,” indicating the other pack. “We also captured ninety-eight Russian rifles and a large amount of ammunition for them. I have given orders for them to be issued to replace our current Martini Henrys.”The Prince gave orders to a servant and the man returned carrying a decanter and two glasses. The Prince poured out the drinks, handing David one. He sat down again and took a sip, “I knew of one engagement through my brother-in-law the General. He came to see me two days ago demanding. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.Up to the window I sprang like an elf,Tore back the shade while she played with herself.The moon on the crest of the snowman we’d built,Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.When what to my wondering eyes should appear,But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.With a fat little driver, half out of his sled,A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.Sure as I’m speaking, he was as high as a kite.And he yelled to his team, but it didn’t sound right.Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,Either slow down this rig or I’ll cut off your nuts.Look out for the lamp post, and don’t hit the tree,Quit shaking the sleigh, ‘cause I gotta go pee.They cleared the old lamp post; the tree got a rub,Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,When.
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