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. to our family!Denial-Ok it is not that serious, obviously a mistake, an error of some sort. Maybe it is her sister, photoshop, a joke, some type of prank. I can only recall our good times. Were they ever real? Or is this an unconscious attempt by my mind to protect me from the pain of loss?Anger-We are told Anger is a common response when faced with significant decisions in which a person has little or no perceived input and will have a potentially negative effect. These circumstances often generate feelings of helplessness, which can fuel an individual's anger. But I was not prepared for the white hot anger that blotted out even my vision. A primal urge to kill, crush, destroy! Even thoughts of jail are forgotten, only the conscious decision of what will become of my children if I'm incarcerated keeps me from doing great bodily harm. Staying away from her at this point is a form of self-protection for all of us.Bargaining-I would make a deal with the devil to go back in time and. Why couldn't you have died instead of her?' And, boy did that get him! You should have SEEN his eyes, Master. He was terrified! The big bully! And I did it again, too, later in the week. He was going to hit Willie again, but I made him stop! 'Such a BAD BOY, Rudy!'"I was totally shocked. Dee was losing it; mentally as well as emotionally. I was suddenly very, very concerned about her, and my expression must have conveyed that."Don't look at me that way, Master," she said, the tears coming again. "Please don't think I'm crazy!" She pulled away from me and tried to get up out of the bed, which concerned me even more; so I held her tightly to me and she finally started sobbing into my shoulder. I stroked her hair and thought hard. Maybe if I was more placating about this psychic shit... If I talked to her as if I accepted it, maybe I could find a way to disperse this strange emotional cloud she was under. I finally decided to take that tack."Dee, I'm not faulting you for killing Dee's.
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