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I stand up and brush myself down. Silly, really: I’m only in a baggy black t-shirt and jeans, and my hair’s such a mess I’ve bunned it up. But I’m being met. By someone. And that nervous, first-day-of-term feeling has come back to me. I take a deep breath as I gather my bag and make for the door. Cautiously, I open it and climb down the steep drop onto the platform. Only a handful of people are spilling out of the other carriages. The train’s motor has been switched off, and the sounds of chirping birds are louder than the footsteps of my fellow passengers. The turbocharged trot of high heels that follow me everywhere in London is conspicuous by its absence on a Sunday evening in the country. I was a long way down the train, and most people have reached the platform exit already. From what I can see, most of the people on board were a lot older than me. The sort of people who might have gone to a museum in Oxford for the afternoon, or taken tea in one of the small towns on the way.. A feather drifts on the wind and it is beautiful.It lands near a pond and it is beautiful.I look into the clear water and see my soul reflected and it is beautiful.I now realise although hidden from me it has always shown through my thoughtsand now I am at peace with my thoughts and actions.Though I don't know how to show it to those around who only see a shell of meI long to become that which I saw in that pond, not only insidebut also on the outside.I look upon these clothes and they can't convey the brightness of my soulI hear my voice after so long and it doesn't sound as it should be,And so I will change.After so long the most indestructible mask,the steel bars of my prison have been broken open,after many years, the news of my grandmother's death reaches my heart,the loss of my high school friends reaches my heart,the loneliness of years reaches my heart,the worry over loosing my elderly parents reaches my heart,the sadness of years waiting, inaction and waste reaches my.
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