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And I missed everyone, had lost everything and was heading nowhere.Do you know what it is like to talk to no one day in, day out? It's a nightmare, after a few days you start talking to yourself. Eventually you start going quietly mad, if you let it. To make matters worse, as soon as you become homeless, you become invisible. So no one talks to you and no one looks at you. You cease to exist. Christmas just makes it worse. But there is one good thing about Christmas. There are usually shelters set up for a few days where you can stay and get a good meal. I usually stick to soup; it's all I can manage these days. I sought one such shelter out and attempted to 'book' a place."We're not open until Christmas day, but I'll put your name on the list," a volunteer said."Thanks," I said."See you Christmas Day then," he replied as I left.Well, at least I would be warm for a couple of days. I might even get a bath and a change of clothes.***Christmas Eve was one of the worst I can remember.. Only then and it neverfailed. I won. Always money, eventually summing up towards the three numbersrange, in millions that is. Quite enough to ensure me a very comfortable life.Unjust and unfair? Don't blame me, I'm just an average guy. Name's John. Well, perhaps not that average. I do have a vice. I'm a sadist. Not a bloodthirsty,murderous beast or a mad sex maniac, but I do get a kick out of tormentingother people. So do you, I guess, since you're reading this story, or perhapsyou're just dreaming about it. That's what I did, mostly, dreamt, looked atpictures, read stories. Masochists are hard to find, even for a lucky guy likeme. You can't win them in a lottery. Well, you can, and I have, but I wouldn'tplay with those guys if I were you, not unless you're a hardcore masochist,and even then I'd prefer to find my own master or mistress. Those guys, that's the Treasure Island Company Inc. Perhaps you've heardabout them. No? They begun by producing BDSM pictures and films, expanded.
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