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At the maroon door, I spotted a bell push and thumbed it. A tune I didn’t recognise played distantly somewhere above me. I wiped my sweaty palms on my trousers – black again, but my sports shirt was pale blue – and I heard rapid footsteps thumping down the stairs. A fiddle with the lock and the door was swung open and there before me was . . . a petite lady with dirty blonde hair framing a pixie face. A big grin spread across her face. ‘Hi Richard,’ she said breathlessly. Her accent was refined and she stood on tip-toes to air-kiss on either side of my face. ‘I’m Charlie. C’mon up, Gaynor’s just had a shower.’ I immediately envisaged a naked Gaynor under jets of warm water, soapy bubbles sliding over her breasts and down her tummy, between her legs and . . . ‘I’ve heard so much about you,’ said Charlie, bounding up the stairs. Her rear was firm in tight blue jeans. ‘After all these years it’s good to finally meet you. Seen photos, of course, but they’re from way back, aren’t they?. People were asked which of several sex-story elements was their least favorite. Which option received the most votes?A. She MalesB. Butt Plugs/ DildoesC. BondageD. Water Sports?" Oooh, ah' really hate bondage, but sex games with urine sound sodisgustin', ah'm gonna hafta choose D. Water Sports." Final answer, Roberta? You can quit if you're not sure." Ah'm suah enough, Phil. Final answuh." And she does it again! Water Sports was the correct answer!Congratulations, Roberta, you've just lost all your body hair!"Even though her arms and legs were now hairless, she lost all hair on hertorso. Her armpits and pubic region were both as smooth as her hairlessface."Now for question number 12. In which recent episode of ?The Simpsons' was the word ?she-male' said twice?"A. ?The Old Man and the C Student'"B. ?Monty Can't Buy Me Love'"C. ?They Saved Lisa's Brain'"D. ?Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo'?" Lawd almighty, Phil, ah'm a big Simpsons fan, so ah'm 100% certain it's C. ?They Saved Lisa's.
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