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“Why don’t you join me?” he asked. He didn’t have to ask twice. I undid the belt and buttons of my jeans and pushed them down to just above my knees. My briefs followed. My cock was kind of semi hard at this point. I put it down to nerves and started rubbing it in unison with George. If there was a gold medal for synchronised wanking, George and I would probably have won. I could feel my cock now getting harder. ‘Good boy,’ I thought. Turning to face George again I noticed he was well away now. Lost in his own fantasy world. His hand was moving almost faster than I could see. ‘So much for a slow start then,’ I thought. He was sitting back on the sofa, eyes closed concentrating on wanking himself off. I was puzzled. I hadn’t driven 20 odd miles to sit in front of a 70s Television playing a crap 80s porn film to crack one off with a guy I didn’t really know. I could have done that at home. Obviously the guy bit couldn’t have been done at home, but you get meaning. I continued. The company that made it was nice enough to put in a few potato chips... How many thin mints do you have to eat before they start working?My wife just stopped and said, “You weren’t even listening, were you?”I thought to myself, “That’s a pretty weird way to start a conversation.”Mr. Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.If stupidity were a disability, I know a few people who’d be getting monthly checks... You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I might as well pee, as long as I’m here”.Pharmacist to a customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription ... Simply showing your marriage certificate and your wife’s picture is not enough.”A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman “Which book has helped you most in your life?”The woman replied, “My husband’s check book”“Political Correctness is just fascism pretending to be manners”—George CarlinMary.
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