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'God and his conversation with St. Francis. FUNNY and true!GOD:Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.St. FRANCIS:It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.GOD:Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?ST. FRANCIS:Apparently so,. I was awakened by the ringing of my cell phone. It was Joe Akers and it was five am. A quick calculation told me it was nine pm the night before in Chicago."Joe don't you ever sleep?" No. If I do I can't charge you double time!" he laughed."So where the hell are you these days?" He asked."Oh out on the left coast basking in the sun and watching gorgeous babes in bikinis play beach volleyball while you're freezing your ass off in Chicago!" I lied."Nice! Just wish I was there." Then how would you get away with charging me all that money?" I'd still charge you but I'd be a damn site warmer!" So Joe is this just a social call to pad my bill or is there a reason?" Just thought I'd tip you off that John Wiley was indicted by a federal grand jury and arrested late this afternoon ... The feds are charging him with money laundering, racketeering and some other bad stuff. Our old school mate Mike Flynn is taking the time from his constant political maneuvering to prosecute the case personally.".
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