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I called them away from worrying at a dead crab. I love my dogs but their habits are distinctly unsavoury. Their world is roughly divided between food and not-food. Sometimes the boundaries blur. The morning suited my mood. I’d come up to the cottage this weekend to get away from London. The cottage belonged to some sympathetic friends. “You need a break,” they said, “why not use our place in Norfolk.” I agreed in a moment of weakness. I guess in Samuel Johnson’s eyes I was tired of life. London held no attraction for me since I split with Steph. We’d been together for about four years. Suddenly, instead of my Earth being flat and stable, she’d let me know it was really round and spinning. I wasn’t ‘exciting anymore,’ whatever that means. I’d never felt particularly exciting. Steph provided all the brightness in my dull little lawyer’s life. If I’m completely honest, the world of restaurants and wine bars through which she sparkled like a meteor was alien to me. I tagged on to her. Originally the island didn't have that tight a security, but the company had helped defray the costs, and they caught someone trying to board who was carrying a bomb in his luggage. I'd say Arab male in his twenties from a Middle Eastern pesthole where they longed to treat women as slaves and loved their camels, literally I think, but that was be profiling or something. The government invited the US FBI in (one of them was a huge fan and got to tour the set and get autographs), and the government rounded up a cell of terrorists.Left-wing ideologues called the US facility at Guantanamo a gulag, though I'm sure they don't know that that is a Soviet Union term. It's the Ritz Carlton compared to prison on a Caribbean island (and I stayed at the Ritz when I appeared on Letterman). I'm sure they would have preferred Gitmo. Here they were treated like filth. I'm sure it ticked them off, but they didn't have any sympathetic and self-destructive Press to trumpet their cause to the skies. If.
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