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”Wife, increasingly agitated: “Oh he did, did he?”Maria: “The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed.”Wife: really boiling now and through gritted teeth “And did my husband say that as well?”Maria: “No Señora...”The gardener did.”Wife: “So then, how much did you have in mind?”Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don’t really give a rat’s arse anymore ... If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal ... A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat ... A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn’t run and does mostly nothing except eat, yet it lives for 150 years.And they tell us to exercise? I don’t think so!Now that I’m older, here’s what I’ve discovered:I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.Funny, I don’t remember being absent-mindedFunny, I don’t remember being. The helpless employee yelped."Settle down," he was told. "You can't blame me for copping a feel.That ass of yours is so girly, even in those tighty whiteys. And thewimpy way you act, half the office already thinks you're queer. Surehope you're man enough to keep your wife happy. Wouldn't want her tostray."That evening, feeling like his manhood was endangered, Chris tried topressure Marlene into sex. She rejected him."You know," she said, "you can be really selfish about that. I mean,it's not like I get so much out of it, with you being, well, less thanaverage size. And finishing so quickly."He blushed and stammered, "But I'm... I'm your... your husband." Yeah, well sometimes I think you're my husband in name only.Certainly not in performance at night. It might help if you would dosomething special for me, like I keep telling you. With your mouth."He gagged slightly. "Marlene, you know that just the thought ofdoing... that act... makes me feel sick." Yeah, well think about.
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