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Brian explained a bit about what would happen in the counseling sessions. He admitted after a break-up, he had gone through counseling to help him deal with how it had ended. Brian did not go into details then; it was a story to tell Mark down the road. He did ask Mark if he had ever watched any male-on-male porn or erotica. Brian was curious just how much Mark truly comprehended what was involved in such a relationship. Mark confessed he had not ever, really. Brian told him to turn to a specific channel that did show gay movies and clips. Together they watched one movie unfold, Brian urging Mark to ask any questions and tell him what he thought. Mark did have many questions about how it felt: did it hurt, was it hard to do?Watching the movie with Brian explaining things made Mark realize that being with another man was more than just the kissing and rubbing the two had done this weekend. Mark did, in theory, know what two guys did together but never really thought about. " "Why?" I asked, my hand moving to her white stocking-clad legs. "I am an adult now with responsibilities and I had to let go of my past," she weakly rationalized. "But you have always, subconsciously, craved submission. Wanted Dad to just take over and use you like a slut?" Mom nodded, and gulped her wine. Surprising her with my conversation shift, I asked, "So Mom, what really happened between you and Ellie?" In a heartbeat, her facial expression transformed from confident and sexy to shy and nervous. "Curtis, that was a long time ago." "I know," I pushed, my voice soft and tender, like a therapist trying to draw out their patient's past. "But clearly you are not completely over it." "I am too," she said, attempting to be strong, "I have resisted the temptation for years." "Sorry," I said, trying a different route. "I meant you still have lingering feelings for Ellie." "Only being friends and not being drawn back into her web of seduction has been the hardest thing I have ever.
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