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I made us both coffee and we sat around talking. I told Carla how thrilled I was by all the attention and how nice it felt, although I couldn’t compare with her.’ Carla looked at her mother and her boyfriend. ‘Can you believe this silly bitch, Tommy? I just looked over at her and said that she was as gorgeous as me, maybe even more gorgeous than me. Everyone likes different things, right honey? Some like chocolate, some like vanilla. Some lucky bastards, like our Tommy, get to have both. I told her she was a fucking sexy bitch and to knock it the hell off.’ ‘I felt like a million dollars and told my daughter that there were two fucking sexy bitches in the family,’ Addie continued. ‘She was shocked because she’d never heard me use that word. We both started laughing and fell into each other’s arms.’ ‘Then I kissed her,’ Carla said. ‘Like it was the most natural and perfect thing to do. I thought mom would pull away or be shocked, but neither thing happened. She put her arms around my. Add 54. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator*5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1765...If you haven't, add 1764. *6 ... Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.You should have a three digit numberThe first digit of this was your original number(i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).The next two numbers areYOUR AGE.!!-- Oh YES, it is... !! --/THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2015) IT WILL EVER WORK, //SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS. /****/Chocolate //Calculator /A SCOTSMAN'S FIRST BASEBALL GAME!A Scotsman moves to North America and attends his first baseball game.The first batter approaches the batters' box, takes a few swings, then hits a double.Everyone is on their feet screaming "Run!!!"The next batter hits a single.The Scotsman listens as the crowd again cheers "RUN!! RUN!!".The Scotsman is enjoying the game and begins screaming with the fans.The fifth batter comes up and four balls go by,The Umpire calls:.
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