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What's wrong, dearest? I asked.I want you, she answered. I really do. But I can't have you.Why not? I asked.Because I'm in my period, she replied. It's not right.I laughed. When you love someone it's always right, Lynn. And I do.Do what? she asked.I love you, I said and we kissed passionately again. She spread her legs apart once more. Her menstruating twat was mine, I thought.I broke our embrace and stood up. Then I reached out my hand. Lynn took it and I lifted her off the sofa and we virtually floated dream-like toward the bedroom.I stopped her at the bathroom door. In here first, I said and she followed my directions without question.I maneuvered her next to the commode and lifted her nightshirt off over her head. Then I turned her around facing me and gently lowered her until she was sitting on the stool. I dropped down to my knees in front of her and pried her legs apart, giving me an unobstructed view of her hairy sex organ.I spotted the draw string as she watched me. Then I. ’She goes, ‘That’s just like you, Ron. I have a genuine problem, and you’re being sarcastic.’‘Alright, honey, I’m sorry. Put the dog on the phone. I’ll talk to him.’“Listen to me when I tell you this: we’re all gay; it’s just to what extent are you gay.”He goes, “That’s bullshit. I ain’t gay at all.”I’m like, “Yeah you are, and I’ll prove it to you.”He goes, “Fine. Prove it.”I’m like, “Alright. Do you like porn?”He goes, “Yeah, I love porn. You know that.”I’m like, “Do you only watch scenes with two women together?”“No, I watch a man and a woman making love.”“Do you like the guy to have a small, half-flaccid penis?”He goes, “No, I like big, hard, throbbing cocks.”“Why are you a vegetarian?” I asked him. And it wasn’t even because meat is bad for you.He said that “raising cattle was bad for the planet -- with cow flatulence in the ozone and the clearing of land for the raising of cattle. What are you doing to help the environment?”“I’m eating the cow.”On Deer Hunting:If you ever miss.
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