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By the end of the week one thing that did become clear, Don identified the source of the longing. His need to look for a relationship with a dominant woman was reasserting itself, but it was different. Instead of just wanting the submissive role, he felt a new desire to be the woman in the relationship. In addition, he kept having dreams about being sexually taken as a woman. These dreams were unusually graphic with scenes of him servicing a faceless man with both oral and anal sex. He did not know how to reconcile these new feelings to his previous desires. He knew he was submissive but never thought that meant he was necessarily gay. Besides he was attracted to the look of a dominant woman as much as to the attitude. The regal look of an elegantly made up woman encased in skin smooth leather, showing black stockings and spiked heels was his dream. Finally at the end of the workweek Don could no longer resist his desires. He found himself in a haze as his feet led him to the Rack.. I’m confused as hell. The solution I see is so counter-intuitive, as you said, that I’m not sure I can really wrap my head around it. It just doesn’t make sense that avoiding suffering causes more suffering.”“Years ago we talked about your problem with trying to avoid hurting people. Remember what caused that?”I nodded, “Yes. By trying to avoid hurting you, I hurt you worse than if I’d just been straight with you from the beginning.”“And that makes sense to you. So why is the concept from your book so difficult to grasp?”“Because I’m fucking sick and tired of being hurt!” I said forcefully.“Didn’t you once tell me about something you said to Becky after Birgit died? About life being suffering?”“Yeah, I was thinking back to that whole conversation with Becky. Actually, to everything that happened five years ago.”“You made me wait FOREVER to have sex. Just like now!” she teased.“Jen,” I said softly, “please stop. I get it. You want to make love. Just let it be, please.”“I’m sorry,” she.
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