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I carefully trimmed my pubic triangle away from my legs and the edges of my body lips. When I was done I saw small traces of blood where I cut too close but I had only a small patch of hair. I never again wanted to be caught with hair sticking out of my swim suit. As I inspected myself in the foggy mirror I wondered what he would think of my new style. Thinking about him giving his approval caused my body to shudder pleasantly. I wondered briefly how I could get him to notice what I had done.That night I woke up in a fevered sweat. I had been dreaming, my hand was jammed between my legs, under the thin material of my underwear, my chest burned with heated blood. I came awake just as my fingers slid across that tender spot at the top of my crack and my stomach started to cramp. I almost doubled in half but the cramps didn’t hurt, the pleasure I felt was nothing like I had ever experienced before. I heard myself moaning as I gasped for cool air. Even though it never happened to me. Could I go on without her? Could I bear the wait until we were reunited in death? Would her soul still love me when it was time for us to be together again? What would my wife, my love, my best friend, my lover want? Certainly life should go on. There should be happiness, new life, new lust, new love. But should the past love hang on? Would, should the spirit of the departed cling to the living through life, stealing precious moments to touch a hand with a ghostly near touch? A caress felt only in the soul but never as human contact. Could the ghost bear the pain of watching life go on, to witness those new lusts? As I watched my beautiful wife in near sleep, I saw her roll over. Her arm flung wide in the way she often sprawled in sleep. I remembered how the collision of that sharp elbow with my cheek had woken me. The burst of anger that always filled me as I was jarred from slumber by the painful contact. Anger that quickly turned to laughter and if I was lucky, lovemaking in the.
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