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"Rita, I want something permanent. I'm not used to unstructured relationships. Hell, I'm not used to anything other than being married. I know I've had to shake off the worry that I'm rushing things, but if you and I are meant to be, then I want to make that permanent."There was no smile in reply, only another question."Are you sure?" she asked quietly, looking intently into my eyes. "I can't handle anything less than a lifetime commitment." I can't either," I said. "It's what I expected my life with Helen to be. But if I couldn't have that, then I want something just as good or better. The only person I can see who would make my life better would be you." Will there be a ring?" she asked tentatively."Of course. But only if you tell me you'll marry me," I smiled, kissing the tip of her nose."Yes, Gerry. Yes ... I'll marry you," she said. And for the first time I could remember, I saw tears."You've never had a ring before, have you?" I said.She shook her head against the pillow. "No,. ” I said waving in the direction of the bathroom.He didn't close the door when he peed, but he didn't face me either.When he was done I had a plan to get him what he wanted and me inside his ass.“Billie, the Collar is a Bondage and submission thing isn't it? Is bondage part of your fantasy tonight?“”Yes” still looking down.“I can help you, but if I catch you being stupid like that again....”“How”“We will go to the Theater tomorrow, just as you were today, I will tie you to the railing in the back and every one including me will have a go at you” I didn't tell him about the knife.As I continued his eyes got wide and his chin came up “There will be a safe word and I will tie you so you can get loose if you need to.”He started nodding.“You understand most of these men won't use condoms?”He was standing there nodding, “That's what I want”“Fuck,” I said. “Billie I need you to tell me you understand what that means”He stopped nodding and thought for a moment, “It probably means gonorrhea.
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