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. just think of him as being on a short vacation. But don't worry, I know just what you need, and ever better, I have just the thing for you." "Huh?" Ben said. "Who the heck are you, and how did you know--" "I'm a wizard, Ben," the old man said. "I dedicate myself to helping people in need through my store. And I know your wife Alice is infuriated that you can't remember to put the toilet seat down." The wizard reached beneath the counter, and soon produced a new toilet seat. "I guarantee that you won't be able to forget to put this seat down if you install it and use it properly." "Looks just like an ordinary toilet seat to me." "That's the beauty of it," the wizard said, with just a hint of a smile. "It doesn't call any attention to itself, but I guarantee you, it will make it impossible for you not to put it down." "How much?" Ben said skeptically. He still wasn't sure that this whole place wasn't some sort of elaborate joke or rip-off. "Ten dollars, total, " the wizard replied.. ”“I know,” Rick said with resignation, rolling his eyes. He knew not to make a big deal about his faux apology. Women didn’t like that. “But I’m not talking about my divorce either.”He must have said the right thing because she gave him a warm smile.“Sure thing, we’ll not mention your old marital status in the background material,” she offered.Her sincerity was real, but Rick felt behind her beautiful smile that something crude lurked. In the silence of the moment, Rick saw the woman’s gaze take in his complete body. His fat belly and aged imperfections weren’t the body of her former ex. He knew she was assessing his physical condition as much as he had reviewed her. He coughed and cleared his throat, as if trying to take control of the situation again.“We’ve both had our hearts broken,” he announced, his Midwestern accent coming through strong. His posture slumping. “And, we’ve both moved on. We should share a drink in my cabin. Our walls will be adjoining, so it will be a short.
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