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Even now there are doubts hanging, lingering as if I had not put my entire existence into her happiness. Begrudged heart separated from how it all began. I slowly came to the realization that it was out of my hands. “I do love you.” I reiterated my stance. To be shunned and castrated from your life-love demanded more than just soft words and idle threats. Yet I still cling to inane attempts at saving face or dreams “I love you,”- how foolish that must sound to the strong and the bold. “I love you,”- yes goddamn you, I wish I had never spoken those words. I found myself smiling with embarrassment and humiliation. Yet I still dream- even now- there are no escapes from my prison. I am forced to move forward and never, ever look back. For my passions are not lighthearted in nature, neither are they lacking in enthusiasm. And for those of you that dismiss my endeavors with not so much as an acknowledgement, I say to you, we are of one body and one soul bounded throughout eternity. I. As I hear the door open I hold my breath, how will you react when you see me hiding. Hearing voices I realize you're not alone, didn't knew you had a meeting after lunch. FUCK, that wasn't the plan.. I just wanted to surprise you but I can't stand up now and walk away.As you approach your desk you notice me, seeing the fear in my big eyes, you wink at me, a little smile appears on your face. You keep talking to the other person when you sit down. Pushing your chair near your desk I'm trapped now... Help, what should I do, you have your legs closed making it all unavailable for me to play with, so not fair, now I want you even more! I squirm quietly under your desk, come on now, don't let me wait too long please. I let my hands rest on your knees just to let you know it's you I want.For several minutes nothing happens except the chatting I hear.. Am trying to follow the conversation but my mind isn't helping. Blushing and breathing slowly trying to keep my heart rate normal while.
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