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”Ed puts me on hold. The line is picked up, and it is Cub saying, “Good afternoon Trent. I hear you come bearing gifts.”“That I may. This one will solve a few of your problems and cause others.”“What is it?”“You know how Greenpeace started their save the whale crap?”“They have started coming after us for using sonar.”“It’s because the high frequency that you use is harmful. You know yourself what it is like below decks when the active sonar is on.”The noise of the sonar is deafening, and most sailors either put on hearing protection or go to a deck that is above the waterline.“What is your solution?”“A lower frequency, greater range sonar. There are two problems with it. I have a solution for the one, but you will need to solve the other yourself.”“What is the problem I have to solve?”“Finding a new lie to tell everybody.”“What does that mean?”“A myth in the navy is that Canada bought its sonar from the US under an agreement that we inform them every time we turn one on. But as we. . an old lady. Herself. But that wasn't possible!"What the fuck is going on her?" she demanded. "Am I stoned?" No, babe, you're boned!" said Nate and then laughed."Good one, dude!" said Charlie."This is fucked up!" said Barbara. "I can't believe I used to be some uppity self-righteous old cunt but who the fuck am I?" Maybe you're Mrs. Simpson's niece and you just can't remember cuz your such a stoner." Charlie suggested."God, I am so fucked! Maybe I should go sleep it off." Oh, no, no, no, Barbara!" Charlie insisted. "I wish you would believe that you are Barbie, Barbra Simpson's niece. I wish that you would strip naked and believe you are wearing a really sexy dress. And I wish you would want to crank up the music and dance wild, crazy and slutty."Barbie blinked, confused about what had just happened. She stripped off the old lady clothes and discovered she was wearing a sparkly red top and a black leather miniskirt."This is one fucked-up trip!" she declared. "I wanna dance! Let's.
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