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The Saturday after your birthday we’re booked at the Westin Resort. We’re supposed to check in at three, enjoy a spa evening, then have dinner. Just me and you. We’ll let things flow from there. If they don’t, they don’t – we can always call it off.” I gathered my bags and got up from the table. “Whether or not you show up, is on you.” I left. After that I decided to avoid her until spa day. I’d expected a relatively tense meeting if she turned up, but she seemed to calm down by then. Maybe turning forty does that to a person, I guess I’ll see in a few months. By the time we sat down to dinner we were both glowing after an evening of pampering and luxuriating. It made me realize that I should take more time for myself on a regular basis. We had dinner out on the balcony of our suite overlooking the Atlantic. We ate in our terrycloth bathrobes as the sun set. By the time we’d finished a humid, pinkish darkness had fallen. Room service cleared away the dishes and the table and replaced. Ignore the first five people who say ‘good morning’ to you.Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say “Just called to say I can’t talk right now. Bye.”To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, “Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!”Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, “Sorry, I really prefer it this way.”In the middle of a meeting, suddenly shout out “Yahtzee!”While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors opens.Say to your boss, “I like your style” and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask “Did you get all that, I don’t want to have to repeat it.”Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a ‘non-player’ within sight).Shout random numbers while someone.
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