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. I spin in my chair, and look at her... and sigh, and for the first time, ask my muse directly for help... "Why? Why can't I find the words to express myself? I feel the emotions, I mean... it's there... but it's not. It's been almost four months since... since Tabitha and I split up... and in that time, it's like I'm a faucet that's been shut off at the source. No matter how many times I turn the handle, there's nothing coming out."She avoids looking at me directly. She knows how much this hurts me... still... For weeks after our last fight, I was stuck in an emotional funk. It didn't help that I had seen it coming for weeks and weeks prior, I had stuck it out, hoping to find something to turn things around. Instead, every time we talked, afterwards, I would find myself analyzing what I had said, wondering what I had said wrong. But even seeing it coming, it hit me hard."It's because you haven't dealt with the emotions of your breakup properly", she whispers. Her quiet voice has. Some bad. Some good." Giggle. Hug. "Tina. Really. You're a good one. The best!"Now we're on the road to our new home together.Moving is a blur. New furniture is a good thing. So is giggling with Susan over her new bed."Darned straight I want a new bed," she told me. "Who knows what manner of debauchery has taken place on that thing since you moved into Jason's apartment." Oh, yeah," I said. "And what have you and Jason done in my poor little trailer?"Susan grinned broadly, blue eyes sparkling. Said one word. "Everything!"And from the living room, Terri's voice. "Tina, am I gonna have to look up 'debauchery'?" Oh, lord, Susan! Did you hear that?" I said."You'd better explain to her before she Googles it!" Susan squealed.Terri and I had a little discussion about adult jokes."Debauchery," Terri grinned. "Is that what you and Dad do?" Not actually. Sort of. It's..." It's normal for a married couple to have fun with each other. I know that," Terri said. "That's why I go to Shauna's.
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