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I do not know the author and I do not know if I have the right to publish those journals as my own, but I was fascinated by those journals, as they are almost mirror images of my own internal feelings and of my own existence. I edited some minor misspellings but left most of the content intact. I do not know how much of this is true, and how much more just the ramblings of a hysterical woman. For whatever it's worth, I have decided to post them here as ?The secret diary of tiny broken jade?. Why I chose the name ?tiny broken jade?:Because my name in Chinese means Jade and the Lord has completely broken me so that I may come to Him and submit to Him completely and fully, so that He may claim ownership of me if and only if I am first broken into tiny little pieces. For behold, the Lord lies with prostitutes and beggars, because they shall inherit the Earth. And I am worse than a prostitute or a beggar, because I am a murderer. I am the most evil woman and I do not deserve the. “I can be a bit demanding,” I said.“I like a strong-willed woman who knows what she wants and goes for it,” Ray replied.I stared straight at Ray for the longest time, without saying a word, battling in my mind what I wanted to do against what I should do. What I should have done is tell him that as a strong-willed woman, I need some time to think things through. But I caved to the fleshly desires that had overcome me.“Have you ever seen our model apartment?” I asked Ray.“No,” Ray replied, “I can’t say that I have.”“Can I show it to you?” I asked.“Sure,” Ray suggestively replied, cocking his head and proffering a very pronounced wink in my direction. “You can show me anything you want at any time.”Oh my God! This guy had the best one-liners.Sweat poured off my brow. I was nervous as I could be, deeply wanting to feel a passion that I have craved for years.I picked up the phone and told the answering service that I could be out on the property, since the leasing agent was off that day.
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