I could not resist the retort, ‘I hear that swans mate for life. So what? We are human beings and have our own standards.’ As he went on and on I felt a mixture of contempt and pity for him. Here was a man of immense intellectual ability talking pathetic rubbish. In the end, it all boiled down to what I was going to do. He had reason to fear my actions, because if I spoke out, he might well be ruined in his special academic field. He need not have worried about that. Those bodies concerned with maintaining his ‘spotless’ reputation did find out about his sexual behaviour, and having a strong self-interest in his international reputation, went to great lengths to cover up, repeatedly. I had had time to consider what my attitude would be and how I should act. There was both an unselfish and selfish motive in my decision. On the unselfish side, I believed very strongly in Carl’s work. He was having a profound influence both inside his specialty and beyond it. To many that read his. “I know most boys do it, at least Rob said so. I caught him once. I was walking by his room and he had the door open a bit. He must have thought no one was home yet. As I walked by I could see him lying naked on the bed. He was holding a dirty magazine up in front of his face so he couldn’t really see me. I stopped and looked in. I had seen him naked lots of times before, but this was different. I looked down and he had his hand around his cock and was going up and down on it. I couldn’t believe how big it was. I had only seen it small. At the time I really did not know what it was all about. I was only 11 and I knew where babies came from but I did not know about erections and masturbation. I was amazed and just stood and started at him and his cock, his hand was going up and down and seemed to be getting faster. He was starting to breathe faster as well, he then laid the book down and held his head back with his eyes closed. All of a sudden he was shooting white stuff up in the air.
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