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Only by my explainingit to him in full detail, down to the most insignificant ofaspects, was I was I finally able to get him to understandhow I felt and why. Jerry said I really should talk withPaul about this, too; otherwise he would since it wasunfair of me to have kept this from them. I finally agreed,although it took quite a lot of convincing by Jerry, forboth of them to come over right after we get off worktomorrow.That next night, I repeated everything I told Jerry lastnight, but feeling as though I was under a lot lesspressure as the words continued to spill out. Paul knewabout my dating Nicole and Erin and told me in no uncertainterms I had to tell them the truth, too. He said I waslying to them and it had to stop. I finally agreed with himand at his insistence, called both girls and set it up forthem to come over here tomorrow night.The following evening, I put two bottles of wine into thefridge to chill down and waited for them to get here,scared to death about how they. I freely admit I tried toforget about it, I tried to forget about my past. I slept restlessly thatnight.I tried to live my life normally, but knowing that the dress was there.And after a few days of agonising about the dress I finally made up mymind that I had to try it on. But I decided that if I was going to wearthe dress. I was going to prepare myself properly.That meant removing all my unwanted hair, brushing out my auburn shoulderlength wig, finding the right lingerie and checking that my breast formswere ok. Making sure my nails were presentable and polished. I alsochecked for and found some heels to wear.And so early on a Saturday morning, a morning I usually had a lie in, Igot up and dressed from the skin out. I took my time and didn't rush. Irelished the chance to become my femme-self. I applied a very subtledaytime look to my make up not wanting to over do it.I felt wonderful. And I took several pictures with my phone. I thoughtabout sending them to Eos. I wrote her a text.
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