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‘Because I love someone else too. I love someone else now.’ ‘He could come back.’ ‘I’m not sure it will matter. It might’ She sits up, bending her legs at the knees and leaning forward onto them, still holding the lock of hair in her fingers. She looks up at the moon, concentrating on the brightness of its glow. ‘What if he comes back?’ Looking back at the earth. A shrug. Nonchalance that she doesn’t feel. Then a long sigh. ‘I already chose. I’m here. I’m happy.’ A pause. ‘I am, I’m happy.’ ‘If you’re happy, why are you out here? Why are you running?’ Another tear begins its journey down her cheek as she resumes playing with her hair. ‘Because it still hurts. To know that I was wrong. To feel like maybe I wasted…. something. To wonder if I’m wrong now. To feel like I’m permanently trapped between choices.’ She glares. ‘You didn’t tell me it would be this complicated. You didn’t tell me it would hurt this much.’ Eventually, in the long silence, her glare subsides.. They're boys. They're impossible to deal with. They're terrible, but even so, a girl has to do it. Trust me. When I was your age, your father was the biggest nerd of them all: cruel, arrogant, but I always had to do as he told me because I knew what would happen if I didn't. But you have to understand that he did it because he liked me, because my pain turned him on, and once I understood that as well, it was easier to take, although no less painful. I endured a lot to get to that point."I grinned at her, remembering how badly I once used to hurt her. I remember how I tied her to the climbing bars attached to gym wall so that her arms were outstretched and bound from wrist to her shoulder. Her legs were parted as far as they'd go, and her ankles were tied so that her toes were two feet from the floor."I was a scoundrel," I recalled with a smile, recollecting how I'd attached wires and clips and transformers that I'd brought from the physics department to her pussy and tits. I enjoyed.
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