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I was going crazy. After she gets back inside, I drop a lot of hints saying I want to fuck her, yet I get no response from her and she does not seem to be interested as well. Slowly she starts to open up. Payal: So how old are you Yash?Me: I’m 25Payal: nice, I like younger men.Me: I’m sure that you will love me in more than one way.Payal: don’t be so sure honey. I have been with a lot of young men.Me: I could out-stand if you let me in.Payal: I get laid quite often Yash, sometimes with 3 men on the same day (With a cunning Smile). Why should I give you an opportunity?Me: (I can’t hold back any longer and I ask her directly) Can I have you??Payal: I’m not so sure; I don’t know you well to sleep with you.We start talking about our interests and fantasies and I mention threesome to her. She asks if it is MFM or FFM, and I say MFM and I see her face lighten up. She asks who would the other guy be if I do get a chance for a threesome and I mention my friends name who is as old as me. She. As I place my glasses to my head, it all becomes so desperately clear. A mirror image, it is my own face, my own sunken eye sockets, my cheekbones pointed and noticed. I have become so thin. What would she think of me, this shell I have become. Where is my shirt? My breasts almost nothing, flaps of skin against shiny ribs. Subsisting on coffee, cigarettes, an occasional carrot stick. I don’t want to eat, such an empty table. A place setting for one, the chair across from me stagnant. Is that really me? The self, the coil, the me. I am sickening. The steam is rising from the faucet now, framing my face in the mirror, a halo almost, filling out my face. I wipe a hand across one side. Clear and empty, glazed fresh and almost her. Why is she gone? I turn my hands over and under the water, it slides off my skin, so dry, almost reptilian. I can feel the heat yet I do not remove my fingers, I want to feel it, feel it deep into my bones. I know I am being burned, the steam is too much. I.
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