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I was never told about wrong and right touches. To me this was just part of my check up. He would check my teeth with his mirror in one hand, and with his othe hand, he would rub softly on my inner thighs and would on occasion he’d pump into my undies and would rub upward pressing softly a crease into my panties that ran the length of my vagina. I never once thought this was wrong and never questioned any of it. After each checkup he would ask me how I felt, was I ok? Was I uncomfortable with him checking me? I answered the same each time with “No Sir” he would smile and I’d get a new tooth brush and a sticker. A few months later, I was once again in the dentist office for a checkup. I recall having lost a tooth and was excited to show my dentist this achievement. In the back room I was seated and waited to tell him my news. As he walked in, I gave a huge toothless smile and he knew right away. He made me feel important and grown as he told me things that I was going through was. Especially theguys. Any of whom could do whatever he wanted to me. Even without thecompulsion, I could not possibly match them for strength.This got me to thinking. A girl has to live with three very severedisadvantages. First, she's small and weak - especially when comparedto guys. Second, her vagina is defenseless to a penis in a way that'snot true in reverse. And third, she's expected to dress sexy - skirts,bikinis, halters, etc - which can only reinforce the first two points.I never appreciated what it was like for girls until now. Add MissRoberts' compulsion to obey, and I had just become more vulnerable, morefragile than I ever imagined a human being could feel. No wonder theother girls I'd seen were trembling in fear.I was afraid, too.Miss Barton could see the realization come to me as we headed to class. "Now you understand, Lucy, what it means to be female. You can see foryourself how hard it is to be a girl...to know that you are not incontrol - that your fate.
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