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So they think I am queer anda wannabe girl. I just can't take it anymore! I want to be who I am,but gee, Mom, I want to fit in somewhere." Do you have any girl friends?" A few, but even they look at me as something strange. It is hard tofit a guy into a girly conversation about periods and tampons!" OK, Jim, I think I understand where you are coming from. I am sorrythat I haven't been able to be the father you should have had all theseyears. But I will try to do what I can to help you find the real youand get you into the place you really fit."Tomorrow we are leaving here for three months. Why don't you let mehelp you in those three months come to grips with who you are. Maybe itis time that a boy like you who has so many female tendencies andinterests should be allowed to explore more fully that side of hisbeing. We will be basically alone together for the next three months.We could be a mother and son, checking out the female world for thefirst time together. I promise you there. I started suggesting and he listened. I used to shed lots of tears at home and I did the same here too, but the feelings of why it came, was different. I felt confidence building inside me. I could have never imagined asking him about going with my friends for trekking but I did. I looked at him and said, ‘Can I go with my friends for trekking? It is only for two nights. I won’t do anything stupid and will come back as soon as I can. Or you could call me if you want me here and I will come back here sooner.’ My mom asked about going out with her friends fo for some religious purpose and I still remember my dad’s expression. My husband made the same. He looked at me disgusted. He was clearly angry. I felt naked in front of him for the first time but little did I know, he was going to teach me to not be shameful when I am naked. ‘Ghauri’, he said frustrated, ‘how many times have I told you that you are my wife? Why are you taking my permission like that? Like you are a prisoner? In.
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