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It makes me happy when she has had sexwith one of her lovers because she always has that warm glow afterwards.That's when we are happiest together.To some extent, the oestrogen treatment is strangely addictive. I enjoythe hot flashes and the confusion I feel the next few days and I love thefeminine rushes that sometimes make me perspire. I do get those once ortwice a day. The only problem is that there is a letdown when thehormones wear off later in the week and my male testosterone begins tobalance the female hormones out. Then I just feel a bit flat and getprone to depression. I have talked with Helen about this and she isconsidering whether or not to provide me with two doses a week, althoughthey would initially be weaker but would have a more cumulative effect.Unfortunately that would take away the rush I get on the weekends, whichis the part I am addicted to.Heidi is quite happy that I am submissive and feminised. Whilst she hasan active sex life I take care of all the bills,. I mean, I don't have much money, but..." I offered, trying not to be stupid about this. Trish needed help. I wanted to help her. I was still feeling those goofy emotions for her and I hoped I wasn't offending."I don't want money, Henry," Trish's voice became slightly reproachful. "I just wanted to talk to someone. My roommate's mad at me over the living situation thing, and my mother ... well, she'd just say I told you so." I want to help you." I know. It's sweet," Trish smiled at me with what I hoped was affection. "You're just too nice. I like you, but ... If I took money from you, I'd feel obligated." No pressure, I just want to help." I tried again, "Maybe some other way?" I don't want to ... I made a mistake," Trish's voice became hard. "I have to clean it up." So what are you going to do?" I asked, willing to listen."I ... I don't know." Trish seemed very young for a moment. There was a pause as she seemed to gather her thoughts.We sat there, looking at each other. I couldn't.
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