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There were three tables of guests and Gladys was sitting with Clive at another. I joined them as Gwyneth served. She kept looking at me, her big breasts mocking me, challenging me. She was young, beautiful, and flirting. Ava was right; the girl deserved to know. I couldn’t keep my feelings for the old woman secret from Gwyneth after what had happened between us. Whatever the circumstances, we’d had sex; the truth might hurt her, but lying to her would hurt more.Gwyneth sat down with us and we all ate together. Clive was in great form, keeping us all in hysterics with his constant stream of jokes and stories.“So where’s Ava this fine evening?” he asked me.“She went to bed early.” I said.“Did she now?” Gladys said, “And what did you do to the poor old woman to tire her out so?”“Nothing, we just went out for a walk.” I said defensively. Too defensively.Everyone laughed. “Relax, we all know.” Clive said kindly. “Here on the island we aren’t too judgmental about that sort of thing, are we. At first it gives a little lightness, but soon all seems still worse than before and first the mind and then the body do not work well. Yet I am still more stupid and continue to drink until I can no longer stand and go unconscious.In the night I wake and must make vomit, it is a bad feeling. And my head still is not right, though I can think enough to wash my mouth with the brush Linda gives me before I return to sleep. But when at last I wake and the light is bright outside, my head hurts badly and my stomach is unhappy.Linda is patient with all, which shames me more. She gives me water to drink with something in it to make bubbles, and I drink when she tells me and it is better though I am still not right.Then she speaks to me long and with much feeling. I can work now, she tells me, but only for small money and if I do that I will have less time for learning. But if I wait and learn, then I may have better work and be more proud in that work and receive greater money for it.As.
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