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A couple of days after that visit to the oncologist, McKayla had surgery to remove the lump from her pancreas and we prayed for a speedy recovery. She was put on an aggressive chemotherapy and it appeared to be working for a little while.But after another month, they found more cancer. This time it had returned to her colon and was spreading. They tried everything: a different mix of chemo, radiation. We contemplated more surgery.Finally, when her doctors found it in her spinal fluid and said the next stop was her brain, we knew her time was almost up. I pleaded with her to continue with the treatments, but McKayla firmly told me that she didn't want any more."If I go through all that—the surgery, the chemo, the radiation—what's that going to get me?" she asked through teary eyes. "Another month? Two? And for what? Feeling like shit after taking a handful of pills? Or throwing up for two days after the radiation? No, Amberle, I want to die with dignity. I just want to be comfortable. It was very difficult for me but looking at Rani and MIL’s condition, I consoled myself and had to be strong for them.I was discharged after a few more weeks and went back to Bhuvneshwar. As both my hands were in a bandage, Rani helped me a lot in eating food, bathing me, etc.My MIL was in great shock was not talking much. This went on for another month. My MIL wanted to visit Guruji as she was very upset.She told all of us to come to the village and spend a few days there, as this will be a change for all of us. I thought it was a good idea, and we all went to the village.We visited guruji’s ashram which was near the village. It was a small ashram with a few rooms and guruji used to see his disciples in a darshan room.We entered the room and took his ashirwad. He blessed us and also consoled us. He said that it is all part of karma. He wanted to speak to my MIL in private and asked, “Roopa beta, can I talk to you alone?”I and Rani came out of the room and waited outside. A few.
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