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He squeezed my hand and continued his voice suddenly a soft purr. “I have had these strange feelings my whole life, and I’ve tried to contain them, I’ve tried to make it go away. But finally I have to accept this, I have to accept that this is who I am.” he paused as I waited expectantly, “Christa, I am a woman. I am a woman and my name is Amber.”Strangely I was not surprised by this. All the pieces slid into place, and I saw a light in my friend’s eyes that I had never seen before. Amber was looking at me, and I recognized that I had seen her before in David’s moments of strength and certainty.“Amber…” I murmured, reaching out to touch her cheek, and felt the slight stubble of her masculine features. As I pulled her close for a hug, I understood her pain in being trapped in this body that did not reflect her soul.Amber and I became even closer after that. She began to dress more femininely – faltering at first through the stylistic choices and body language that most women have. Just the five of us, my little nuclear family of three plus our two best friends. This felt right. This felt comfortable. This felt like home.The only problem was: this wasn’t only our home. In fact, none of our names were on the lease. This apartment belonged to Adrienne, the one who actually paid the rent and refused to let the rest of us contribute a single dime. This place that we lived in didn’t actually belong to any of us, and I found myself wondering if we really belonged here anymore.So why not get up and move out? Why not leave this apartment to Adrienne and Sasha – let them have the place to themselves in domestic bliss and get the hell out of their way? Living together made sense when we’d been a triple, with Kim and BJ included, of course, to be with me. But we weren’t a triple anymore, and in fact my relationships with them at the moment were pretty strained. Adrienne and Sasha weren’t even HERE right now, having returned from their European trip but then taken a private.
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