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"Bob honey I love you, but you are the suicide pill," I said. "check everyday on line for that entry about Jen's car."The three of us got in the Caddy and headed out. The very first time I stopped for gas, about a hundred miles away, Eve asked, "Want me to slip away and go back for Bob?"So much for the 'never harm a human being' directive, I thought. Of course I said, "No thanks, I could have done it myself, if I thought it was absolutely necessary. Jen knows to much to turn her into an enemy. My directive one is to 'never kill a friend, unless they are trying to kill you."' I said.We drove all night and wound up three states away from home and in a small cash motel. When I reached the license plate box on the registration form, I did one of those dyslexic things. The middle eastern young woman hardly spoke English at all, I was pretty sure she neither knew, nor cared.I explained to Jen and Eve what I needed for them to do, while I slept away the daylight hours. While I slept, Jen. Estrogen, also makes me more reticentto say what I am thinking because I understand more deeply how importantit is to get along. If I can say a word or two about what estrogen does to your sexuality - itis a mindfuck. I never considered gay relationships even remotely beforeHRT because I found women so overwhelmingly fascinating. But after HRT,after beginning to feel like a woman all the time, I found myself stronglyattracted to boys. I shouldn't have been surprised, I knew from the science that my odds wereone in three of this happening. I find myself in constant wonderment ofwhat it is like to kiss a boy, or to pursue a sexual relationship withone. I am certain that my next relationship will be with a boy, and I lookforward to being the girl in the relationship. Removing one's beard is an extremely painful part of being a transsexual.I opted for laser treatment, and I would describe the experience as deeplyspiritual. Every zap is a painful gut check that asks, ?How important isit.
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