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“Would you let me bite your breasts - just once - $10,000?!” She thinks about it for a while and says, “Hmmmmm, $10,000. Ok, just once, but not here. Let’s go to that dark alley over there.”So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them - but not biting them.The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, ‘Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?’“Nah,” says the little old Jewish man... “Costs too much!”These are compliments of J & B.Paraprosdokianis a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected - and oft times humorous:1. If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.2. I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they’re flashing behind you.3. Today a man knocked on my door and asked. And so, there were far too many nights when I’d come back from the library to find a tie on the door. Unlike Chuck, there was no pot of gold at the end of my college rainbow. Hence, I was getting an engineering degree. That wasn’t an easy major, especially when you had three hours of practice five days a week. Every other minute I was in the library, or class. So, social life wasn’t an option.The campus is beautiful in the middle of October. There are a lot of mature trees and little sidewalks lined with old fashioned streetlights. There was the hint of burning leaves and I knew I was as prepped as I could be for tomorrow’s 9AM exam. They’d kicked me out of the library when it closed, and I was enjoying a leisurly walk back in the soft fall evening. My mellow mood changed as I approached our room. There was the ubiquitous tie on the door and faint thumping and moaning noises were emanating from inside.Most nights I was willing to give the inconsiderate piece of shit some space. But.
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