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Blessed resentment! That’s something, that’s mine. August They say I’m doing better. I’m off Suicide Street and have moved to Pitiful Parade. And they say that’s better. I wish you wouldn’t visit so often. I don’t want to hear about life outside, it has no meaning in here. And I wish you wouldn’t hold me so close. I can sense your fear though you try hard these days to conceal it. You were angry at first, and that I understood. But why are you so afraid now? You got your way. I’m still breathing. Not like Christopher. His name is a piercing blade to the numbness and I am grateful for it. October I am glad you brought me back here. The uncompromising landscape soothes me. The grey moody sky, the shrieking winds and ocean spray. The rage of the waves echoes through me, it feels so familiar. But enough, I must have my say today. The ‘madness within’ you call it. A dominating, powerful force that you feel drives me to both despair and delight. You derive comfort in any medical diagnosis. When I met Florence about 20 years ago she was a very quiet woman who back then was not to bad looking for a woman in her late 40’s but as time when on I could tell we didn’t see to many things eye to eye. We never really hit it off and none of my brothers or sisters became very close with her ether. My father and “his wife” live a few miles down the road from me and I see them often.It was a few year back that I started having these feelings. We were invited to one of her family reunions and my wife and I showed up only as moral support for my father. We entered the house and said hello to everyone and I slid back into a corner while my wife went about her way chatting to everyone. I was standing there when Florence came up to me and very much out of charter gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek saying that she was glad that I had been able to make it.Well at the moment I didn’t think much about it, but as she moved around the house I found myself watching her and the smell of.
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