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" Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week." That's very fair, your honour," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all..." Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids."An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder:1. The DNA all matches.2. There are no dental records.A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco. In this position, I was constantly exposed to nearby cars and with my bare leg in open view to cars even approaching from behind, many men checked our my bare legs and then seeing my penis and balls did hysterical double takes. As we got to our parking lot, the reality of the last 24 hours set in as Paul’s hand grabbed my inner thigh and moved under my skirt to capture my boi-clitty and squeeze my balls.“I am sorry about your job Alex – but it has to be all for the best.” Paul said looking into my teary eyes.“You are safe here with us and we can figure something out – but while you were on your knees in the sex shop we got rid of all those boring work clothes to make room for your new slut wardrobe.” Paul continued, pointing to the mountain of slutty attire in the back seat. Again in my off balance state, it never occurred to me that Paul seemed to already know about my job and had things in the works far to quickly. For my part, I was just grateful that I had a place to live and.
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