This isn't a damn comedy. As it happens, the English have been making sausages way longer than the Germans, and as anyone who knows me will tell you, I love sausages. (I know what you're thinking and if you so much as fucking smirk, I swear I'm going reach out and slap the shit out of you.)Right, so I was dithering between the Toad in the Hole and the Bubble and Squeak when I was greeted by a curvaceous woman in a bright red 'Mrs Santa' outfit. She was a round woman, Rubenesqu even, as a friend would later say. I didn't know about that. I thought a Ruben was a sandwich, but what the hell. I prefer a woman who can appreciate a good hoagie anyway. Specks of red and green were sprinkled from her rosy cheeks all the way down over her very impressive breasts. She looked like a glitter-bomb had exploded over her.I just sat there, mesmerized by the plastic stardust covering her tits. Every time she moved, her wonderful mounds jiggled, causing the glitter to sparkle under the ancient, yellow. Moaning louder, and moving her hips. Wow. I was hot as hell, god I wanted to go over and enter her, but didn't dare. She kept rubbing her clit, until suddenly I heard her moan 'I'm coming, come with me'. She shuddered and moaned as she came, and I exploded all over the floor. It was uncontollable.After a couple of minutes, she came over, and said "thanks for watching, that was really good". I cleaned up, and went off to bed, but I couldn't sleep for thinking about what had just happened.Next day, it was as if nothing had happened, but for the next month or so, virtually every night she's say 'watch me', and the same thing happened. As you can imagine, after a month of watching her masturbate, I was horny as hell to fuck. I was going to ask her that night if she wanted to fuck, but before I could ask, when I got home she told me she had a guy coming round tonight to fuck her, would I like to watch? Well, again, who would say no? This time I had to do it secretly, she'd leave.
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